Sunday, March 21, 2010

New Spring Equinox Resolutions

Today is the first day of 2010 in which the hours of day outweigh the hours of dark. You may feel like celebrating.

Resist. Now is not the time.


Because foolishly you listened to me and put off making New Year’s Resolutions in favor of the New Spring Equinox Resolution. Now you have work to do.

And so do I. I have to remember my resolutions. I thought I had at least three but I can only remember one: post to my blog by Sunday instead of on Sunday. Being a person who rides deadlines, I’d been posting as late as 11pm. For shame! Several readers let me know that they were checking Sunday mornings. Tut, tut, can’t keep people waiting.

I tried not to think of upping my deadline as a New Year’s resolution, but it was around the New Year and I was feeling quite resolved… I decided and have been sticking to it, mostly.

Mostly you say, mostly?!? What kind of a flimsy, whimsy, whoosy, oozy resolution is that?

The realistic kind.

If I were delusional there are all kinds of unrealistic, outlandish things I’d promise always or never to do.

First, I’d always go to bed early. (I know, everyone says that!) Second, I’d never be late. There’s no legitimate reason 99% of the time. My “just a seconds” turn into minutes and pretty soon I’m supposed to have left already. It’s bad and creates a state of perpetual stress. But what the hell, that’s me. Lateness, it’s my drug of choice. I’m addicted.

So, ruling out hard and fast commitments to unattainable goals, what are my lofty Equinox Resolutions going to be?

Mmmm, good question.

Ha, I’ve got it! I’m going to:

1) learn more about invertebrates.

2) unearth the secrets of slime molds.

3) drink more.

4) get rich quick, without a fully developed scheme.

5) invent a day-stretcher, so I can literally take time and malleate* it.

That’s all. Five is a reasonable number.

Why are you looking at me like that? You don’t think number three is for real?

I assure you I am serious, I need to drink more. While I wouldn’t call myself a ‘work-a-holic’, I’m definitely a ‘to-do-a-holic’. Sitting down with a glass of wine once in awhile would be good for me.

No, that wasn’t it? You had a different objection?

Oh, hiking. No, I don’t want to make any resolutions about that. Wouldn’t want to jinx myself.

So, what are your Spring Equinox Resolutions?

*Malleate means to shape, beat or extend something which is malleable. Malleate is the verb form of the adjective malleable, freshly invented by moi (you’re welcome).

[Photo taken 3/18/10 on an afternoon hike around the neighborhood selling Girl Scout Cookies with my nine year old daughter. It’s not a “real hiking" photo, but then again I never claimed to be a “real hiker."]


  1. I love this post. Hilarious. Yes, I think you need to drink more. It is good for you. Happy spring to your family!

  2. Thanks Tara. I'll have to get to the liquor store this afternoon. It's already been four days since the equinox and I've hardly gotten started on my resolutions!

  3. i wonder if you could combine #3 + 4?

  4. Excellent suggestion, Balefire! I'll put my thinking cap on right away. No, I'm trying not to over think things. Ok,I'll reach for an glass of wine and ponder randomly about easy money.